再见2008年

2008年到数看到的烟花，还深刻在我心。没想到现在已是2009年了。今年，得到了很多意想不到的东西，也经历了很多意料不到的事。对某些事有期望，但也得到更大的失望。 无数次的失落和打击，我还在学习慢慢的放开和接受。这过程里，有很多的笑声，也有很多了泪水。对于那些突发事件，我也坦然接受了。。开始时有点辛苦的。但，渐渐的也适应了。或许对于有些事情，我看得很开。。。真的。。

看看今年，不觉得自己有什么大成就。我没有以自己为荣，也不认为有必要要踩我自己。我想凡是讲究平衡，这样生活才会协调。经济方面，还不赖，物质上的享受也和以往一般，没什么很大的分别。

今年我也经历了很多的第一次。这些新的经验，让2008年 充满了美好的回忆。最可贵的就是认识了些好朋友，让我的2008年如此精彩。圣诞和新年期间，有些朋友送了我一些小礼物，所谓礼轻心意重，我深深感受到这道理。我也做了一些小礼物送给她们，但昨天忘了带给她们（人老了就是这样，哈哈！）。这小小礼物，有着我大大的心意和祝福，希望她们会喜欢啦！

谢谢你们这些朋友的陪伴，就因为有你们，我的生活更多姿多彩！

新年快乐！

Dinner For One..

After reading Ching's blog today, I suddenly had a crush for spagatti. It has been a while I haven't cook that....if I must recall, it was like 3 years ago?? I rarely miss my own cooking, I gotta admit I don't cook exceptionally well these days. I used to have more passion in cooking and better skills when I was in Kuching. Eversince I moved to KL, this interest dropped, so as my cooking skills...it gets worse by the days with my cooking habits of bimonthly or even less.

It was raining cat and dog when I left the office, luckily the rain subsided when I got home. I went to pasar malam to get the ingredients. I didn't have anything specific on my mind, I was thinking of making it erm..fusion?? I bought ham, sausages, capsicon, onion and tomato (just whatever came to my mind).

I quickly got home after that (I felt like I couldn't wait to cook after the afternoon craving). I cut everything into cubes, stir fried the ingredients and pour in the tomato paste. It took about 45 minutes to prepare everything. The tomato paste was a bit too sourish, but overall, it wasn't too bad. I didn't even put salt in it, (trying to be healthy) lolz.

I finished a big bowl of it on my own with my eyes on tv drama. I haven't felt so much fun eating alone since Steve has gone for his Paris trip. It doesn't taste exceptionally nice, nor bad. It was just mediocre but I felt so much warmth eating it and was very contented with the meal.

I actually cooked extra wanting to give to my colleaugue, but since it didn't pass my QA for this round, I guess I would need to improvise first before I let her taste my cooking *teTtTt*

I guess cooking can be fun, even if you are alone, so long you are enthusiastic about it. =)

灰灰的三十。。（1）

转眼间，明年我就要踏入三十岁了。不知是不是如此，我最近的天空常常灰。。人老了就会灰吗？

烦，烦，烦。。。样样东西都令我很烦。

工作烦，现在自己该做什么都不知道，每个人都说，看到什么就做什么。难道，就不能好好的规律化一下吗？ 我做好我的本份就是，那也就算了。星期六，星期天还要工作，想好好休息也不能。。那也就算了。

那个人 常逍遥的旅游去，不管我这里多么寂寞也算了。。失落时想要找个肩膀依靠一下都没有，那也就算了。。明年还想到巴厘岛写书三两个月也算了。。不想要什么山盟海誓，也算了。偶尔妈妈唠唠叨叨说我还不定下来“掉理浪荡”的，那也就算了。我朋友说我都不年轻了，还不结婚，那也就算了。。我家人说，我别整天想赚钱，那也算了。。别人看我不顺眼，我一笑而过，那也算了。。我活到这三十岁，有什么时候不是都算了算了的过？

想想一下，了解我的人可真少。。

我每天算了算了不和人计较，谁知道？

可能就因为太多算了算了而伤害了自己。。

人生还是要过，我还能怎样？

还是那一句，算了算了。。

I am glamorous, o0o0o

After the 4 hours of standing...with my heels, and really a lot of photo shooting from different angles, this was the photo chosen *TaDaHhHhH!!* erm, well, my face kinda look bloated here like a balloon! geeez...well, this is the confirmed photo chosen by Laureate, so it's final *sweat*. I heard the ad would be up on the 5th December, I am glamourous, lolz

突然，感觉好累。。

今天，驾车回家时，我不知何时眼泪流湿了我的脸。我在哭吗？我想是的。。我的心没有难过，没有悲伤；但，有着淡淡的苦涩，有无尽的难堪，我想我累了。。

累了要一个人面对这么多的变化。。这么多不是我能掌握的事。不知到是不是我的命不好，还是老天爷要考验我？每一次人生低落的时候，都要一个人过。现在我很想要有个人来给我依靠一下，可以吗？？带我到海边吹吹风，到金马伦看玫瑰。。。

感觉坚强的我，好像不见了。。

我好想要好好的哭一场。。。

Fun with Roses..lolz

ahh, it's blur, this is what happened when it was taken by unprofessional photographer lolz

Hmmm, does this look like a tanjung rambutan patience?

My lovely colleague, has made our department some roses rings. It has been for the past few days that she kept complaining that they were ugly before they were given to us. But I think they turned out to be pretty lovely =) and good to be worn for wedding dinners too!


So I have made my choice of the white rose, erm...I have tendency of liking white things lol. Ok, I know what you are thinking, a fat and short hand huh? This is Dad's gen, hehe..


Feeling high, I made few poses....and the papparazi has taken my photos erm with my conciousness lolz



Well, although our department will be seperated soon, but I believe the laughters, joy and the craziness amongst us will stay on. The spirit of CCO!

同事们，多多加油哦！！

My dearest Daddy/亲爱的爸爸。。

One of my favourite photo with Dad

Last night, Dad called me. I normally call him once a month or bimonthly. Last two weeks was his birthday, I still haven't thought of what present to get for him. He doesn't call me that often. I wonder if Mom had told him that Steve is away to Paris and that I am alone at home...

Dad, as usual, had has his drink before talking to me. We talked about the norm as we always do, his business. He told me that he was thinking of buying a piece of land to develop, but he muttered, "Daddy is old now, may have problem with bank loan procedures."

My heart sank for a while...at his age of 59, I have never thought that he is getting old. I still very much feel that he is always full of energy and interests in things that he devotes in; and I am always proud of him.

He kept saying on the phone that he will take care of me and Adrian. Deep in my heart, I felt this was actually what I wanted to do for my family; but I did not express it...

These are some of my favourite family photos, after dinner at Kuching.

Before we ended our conversation, he told me that he would always care for me and he loves me. I felt tears rolling on my eyes....after a while, I replied, "I love you too, Dad."

Although, we rarely meet and communicate these days ever since I have started to work in KL. But, my heart always stay close to you and Mum and Adrian.

爸爸，只要你健健康康，开开心心，我就很快乐了。我会在这里努力，为我的人生目标前进。

你一定要长命百岁哦!!

Bali Trip

On the first and second day of my Bali trip in October, I got to stay the Bukit Kijang Villas. The views of the villa are magnificent. Truly a great place for love birds and honeymooners =)

This is the outside view of the villas....I love the feeling of being surrounded by plenty of flowers there!

On the third day, we went to Anthonio Blanco art gallery, one of the most famous late artist at Bali (whom is famous for his drawing of naked women...don't think otherwise folks, it's ArT!!!
This is the entrance of the gallery...ofcourse no photos are allowed inside the gallery and ofcourse, I did obey the rules.

This is where we had our bbq pork ribs, the place was visited by a lot of tourists. The pork rib was great but it was so bloody hot :S...I was sweating until I got my bra and panty wet lol, but it was a good experience, indeed!

This is a shot with my darling Steve, one of my favourite =P This was before we sweat wet our undies, lolz

On the forth day of the trip, I got to go to the Eco-resort at Bedunggul. I think it's really a great place...but not so popular as yet among the tourists, probably it's a bit far from the downtown.

It's very much similiar to Cameron. The other day when I was there with my bf and friends, there only few rooms occupied..and I saw two gays dining the at restaurants, pretty exciting actually =P











This is one of my favourite scene at the resort. It's really breathtaking, and I enjoyed the cool breeze blowing on my face...










On the way to Beduggul, we stopped by a Taufu shop for lunch. This is a restaurant that only sell taufu in their menu! Definitely a place for tauhu lovers (that's me!)


After lunch, we went to the Botanical garden. I actually love the feeling in this little green house, full of cactus...At the time we were in there, it was actually drizzling outside, it's lovely to escape the rain in this green house indeed.erm, my candid hehehe, I wonder how this person could take a nap here...

I didn't get to go to the beach during my last visit, but definitely hoping that I can explore further of Bali...tata Bali for now...me shall be back :)

失败，是必要的

成长，是透过不断的思索，不断的学习，不断的经历和探索换来的成果。成长的过程若没有甜，酸，苦，辣这四个把我们磨练成金的要素，我们人生的文章就毫无色彩。 我们虽爱美的事物，但， 不能排除酸，苦，辣考验的来临，这就是生活。。。

没有问题是可以用逃避来解决的，太 多人都选择不去面对现实。 换来的只是更多的失落和无奈。

我在想，人选择逃避的因素是什么？ 究竟是逃避问题？
还是逃避问题解决不了将面临的失败？

没有人爱失败，爱不好的事发生在我们的身上，或，在我们爱的人身上。

没有失败，就不会有成功。这前者后者的关系，早已是你必须接受的事实。面对失败，你要懂得坦诚以对，因为它不是我们的敌人。封闭我们的，往往是我们的自尊，让我们放不了面子，放不了尊严。

你今天要做的事都做了吗？
你的梦想，实现了吗？
你达到你渴望拥有的事业成就了吗？
你想去很多地方旅行吗？
你对你爱的人表达了吗?
你对爱你的人表达你的爱意和珍惜了吗？

不要认为你今天拥有的都理所当然。。
今天拥有的可能是明天的失去，
今天失去的可能是明天的拥有。。

反反复复的徘徊在得失之间，
我们要学习，
拥有的时候，要懂得珍惜，
失去的时候，要懂得放开。


如果，你因为逃避，因为自傲；面子，
放弃太多的机会，怀里有太多的遗憾。。
今天，就把你的遗憾 转变成挑战，把你的自傲变成生机，
勇敢的面对吧！

活出你生命的喝彩。

失败，是必要的。

回忆

当你回忆过去时，
是否牵动你心里的感动？

失去的，让我们留念，
错过的，让我们遗憾，

得而复失，失而复得是人生旅途必然的过程,
既然是如此，你又何必太眷恋过去的错过？


你要懂得失去的，已成为过去，
再难过，再遗憾，也没帮法弥补已成为历史的事实，
重要是你是否在这个过程里，学到你人生的功课，

放下已成为历史的事吧！
放下执著，放下心锁，
过去的回忆会随着时间，慢慢冲淡，
有一天，当你回忆的时候
它已成为你生活的色彩，

把握现在，掌握未来，
当你敞开心怀，笑看回忆时，
你会看见，还有更好的前景在向你挥手。。。

你会感动地说一句，

谢谢你，回忆。

时间

水，可以透过时间把坚硬的石头磨平
火，可以透过时间把一座极大的山烧毁
雨，可以透过时间把陆地淹没
鸟，可以透过时间把它的鸟巢给建好

忧伤的心，可以透过时间来疗伤

挫折，可以透过时间去站起来

时间, 是成功失败的主要关键
时间，固然重要，
但，时间不足于医疗破碎的心，
因为，人的情感是最复杂的东西，

懂得用积极的态度陪同时间，是治疗心灵的最佳良药

这样，你才可以透过时间去遗忘，应用时间的精华，
迎向在前面等待你的幸福。

领悟

人生是一个不断学习的过程。

我们从别人的软弱， 看到自己的刚强
从别人的失落，看到自己的得意
从别人的失败，看到自己的稳妥
从别人的不足，领悟到自己的幸福
人生最宝贵的功课，莫过于那一杀那间的领悟
当你懂得从领悟中，找到你人生的方向
你就是在为你的人生开启另一个幸福 之窗。