1.1.2011

Am I still dreaming or time is just flying? I remembered end of 2008, end of 2009 and now, 2010 has ended. I frankly don't know what to expect this year but I hope it is going to be another fruitful and good year. For things that arent meant to be, I have very little expectation. I am still learning to be a stronger person, but I really look forward to this year....and see what are there to be explored.

Good bye to 2010 and Hello to 2011!

F.A.T

It was a sleepless night...and for the reason is non other than, I kekembangan!! ai yo, I didnt know where the fat comes from but I have become much rounder ever since the Perth trip. And I got damn stress after seeing the weighing machine!! Mum is going to faint when she sees me! Gosh...I need to keep it down, God bless me!!

I will live with long hair again!

2 years of short hair! Yes, I have had enough!

Now it's time for long hair. woohooo!

I haven't had straight long hair for years....

Now I'm going to keep it long and straight!

Applause!!! =D

Silent Night

So it's Sunday night, but nothing different.
Still another lonesome night.
Sunday is the only official day I get my off in the week.
Yes, if I am lucky...
as many of the weekends I am stuck at KLCC "fairing"...
But this silence....it makes me wonder, am I looking forward to weekends?
Or finishing work?
Is this silence a good sign?
Is this a peace I should appreciate?
Maybe I should be more self-contented, self-entertained.
I tried to cope with it better, but at times,
I am still weak and frail.
Who can walk me through this?
Can someone answer that question?
A question, yet to be answered.
Happy weekend, Marilyn.

Flee Flee Flee!

I want to flee!!!
I need a break by the beach to feel the wave.
I need a break to feel the snow and shiver in it.
I need to go somewhere far, where I can forget all the worries I have.
I need to be free from work, where I can manage my own time.
When the day comes, I am going to flee!

Trip

I wonder if I have travelled so much that I don't feel excited at all now that I am leaving for a trip soon. I haven't even done my packing and deep in, monotone! Wierd....I wonder what would excite me. Anyhow, I wish I would have a good trip and hopefully a fruitful one.

Lost and Found

Sometimes, you thought you have lost something.
Then, unexpectedly, you found it again.
Sometimes, you still feel the same for the lost and found item.
But at times, you totally feel different although you have been missing it while it was gone.
That is a lot of mixed feeling, confusion...
Sometimes, you just don't know what to do, what's the future, and how to go about it.
At time like this, you just have to let nature takes the path....

S.T.R.E.E.S.E.D!!!

Work is pilling, the stress is really killing me. Doing the same old things, but asking you different quenstion. Undecisiveness, that's really a major killer. I wonder if I have to bear with stress wherever I go? Or everyone experiences it. Maybe it's the way I take things in life? Or it's just the way others do things? So many questions, what's the solutions? Oh dear, God bless me!

Home Sweet Home

My favourite Tomato Noodles, yum yum...only available in Kuching! =)

Like mum like daughter, we have one thing in common, SHOP! hahaha...

It was my second trip back to Kuching last week for 2010. Mum turned 51 last week. Still young, and looking good. I think she enjoys herself much more now, working less and more social activities. She is now the official driver for Adrian, home tutor, cook aka maid at home phew lol. It's good to see her enjoying life, it's always a relief to see her doing well.

Adrian with his posing, I think that's so called, KomaRider thingy...

Everytime trip to Kuching would always be packed with food and more food. Everyone says I am fat but they still keep feeding me lol, ironic. At least, I have had my favourite noodles, tomato mee and sarawak laksa! Adrian has started to fall in love with laksa too, and starting to eat less spicy food. He has grown much taller now, and getting fleshy! But I still enjoy kissing his cheeks and I wonder would he be shy if I do it when he grows older.

A moment of family, at Mum's birthday dinner

Saturday night after dinner, dad and myself had a little talk. He told me it's good to think through if we have done something wrong before we sleep so we can improvise and improve. We spoke about many things, mostly constructive stuff. Dad always inspires me, I think he often speaks with wisdom, for this, I really adore him.

Good memories still resides, all the laughters, the food, the moment of sharing...I somehow feel a little home sick again. It is coming to my 5th year in KL now. It has been easier lately, and sometimes I wonder if it is time to be back in Kuching. How long should I keep staying here? There is a saying, there's no where like home. I think it's so very true especially when you are away from home, alone. After the trip home, there is always a lot of mix feeling of sadness, happiness, and motivation to do even better not just for me, but for them too.

I know I am going to miss them and I look forward to seeing them soon again.

With love, daughter & sister

伴

好喜欢听黄小琥的伴。一首简单的歌曲，却带着浓浓的味道。非常真实的一首歌。

最近，在fb遇到很多老朋友，老同学。个个都结婚，个个都有小孩了。时间过的真快。看看现在身边的朋友，还是有很多单身的，有些受过伤害。有些连交往都没有过。有些着刚刚开始新的恋情。洋溢着幸福。所谓有人欢喜，有人忧。这样的情景，让我想起戏里常有的台词， “人生如戏，戏如人生”。

妈妈偶尔也会唠唠叨叨，我知道她担心女儿嫁不出去。不过，也不会给我太大的压力。妈妈的开通让我很庆幸。所以，要是没有个伴，养支狗好了，哈哈哈。。

找到幸福可是那么容易的事吗？ 刚才和我的好朋友吃饭。她和我说，朋友结婚她一定会到。因为她认为可以找到真心的伴，真的很不简单。所以，她很祝福那些找到另一半的朋友。这番话，让我很有感触。看到朋友个个结婚，通常也只是说一两句祝福的话，给封红包。那样就了事。不过，现在想想朋友的话，也很有道理。或许，自己还没结婚，所以一直都还没领悟。虽然也不知自己有没有结婚的福分。不过，我要衷心祝福所有找到个伴的人，好好珍惜。把握现有的幸福。

霉！

哎，我今天还是“带赛”！昨天同事的个案还以为今天他回来就可以搞定。怎么知道，那堆“赛”还是推到我这里来。苦啊！不过，同事必须要赔赏顾客的飞机票钱，已经很惨了。对于，个案的处理方法，我觉得他还不够成熟。 不过事情都如此了，唉。。 所以，我也不能说那么多。希望，明天可以快快搞定这件事，不让我可就真的要@#$@^@了。

Monday Blue

I woke up on a groomy morning, with weather which made me wanted to continue sleeping. My Monday was made "bluer". As usual, I spent about 45 minutes in shower and "fixing my face" before leaving to work. After I started driving, it drizzled. The sky was getting darker, the jam at Loke Yew road was giving me migrain and I heard siren of an ambulance from a distance. "There is always accident during such weather", I thought. After struggling in bumper to bumper on the road, I exit and got into NPE.

The drive was smoother but after the first toll, another ambulance passed by me. "Another accident", I thought. After exiting NPE, I was stucked at the jam of the roundabout and when I was about to exit it to the way of my office, another ambulance passed by me. Out of a sudden I thought I was just damn lucky.

What would all these jam, rain and little Monday blue compared to people who were caught in accident that morning. Sometimes, I feel I have complained more about life than to appreciate it. Little thing like this was an alarming call to remind me that it was, another day to be grateful. Another day to take a deep breath, smile and said "Thank god, I am still breathing."

好日子

我觉得，开心的时候反而很少来部落格。其实，人不是应该开心的时候，想分享多一点吗？我认为我倒是难过的时候比较多感触，所以，要是我没来部落格应该就代表我过的很好了。。哈哈。。

这几个月来，生活得平平淡淡。没什么新奇的。也没什么很让我感触的。 就这样，半年过去了。我好像没有给我自己什么目标，就那样，天天工作，回家，偶尔和朋友喝喝茶，看看书，逛逛街，懒懒散散。。。我发觉我变得更随性了。没有学习也没有成长的空间。那样，好吗？

人常说，平平淡淡就是幸福。 但是，我总觉得平淡里好像缺少了一些东西。缺少了对将来的肯定。二十年后我会怎样？ 这是我不肯定的事。爱情，事业，钱财，家庭。。。好像，都没有方向。 想想一下，活得简单也很可能埋没了可能达到的目标，埋没了可能启发的才华。。

有必要再自我冲刺了。是时候策划结下来的路了。

最重要的是让自己可以在平淡里也有应该有的积极。 加油咯！

或许，还是孤单。。

刚刚才和病魔说拜拜。 前几天，病的像只死猫似的，全身无力，喉咙沙哑，说话也娇滴滴的。。想起来，我的鸡皮疙瘩都起了。 那么温柔一点都不像自己。休息这么多天，也够了。今晚，还是一样没节目。这，可真是个无聊的星期六。 想一想，这也好像不是我第一次那么无聊的过。怎么都还没习惯呢？往后的周末也是这样吗？唉。。闷！

Gateaway

I just spent 4 days 3 nights at Krabi weeks ago. Havent get any tanner than this for years (since my school days) and darker freckles. I finally found some time doing nothing, gazing at the beach, lazing near the pool, SUNBATHING! I used to think only silly billy would do that lolz.

Krabi is a very peaceful and relaxing place. May to November is their none peak season, so I got to enjoy cheaper food, cheaper hotel, and more bargained advantage in my shopping. Many would go for islands hoping but I didnt (the boats phobia *ehem*). In the morning, there is row of boats waiting to bring tourists to other island nearby Ao Nang beach.

What is really unforgettable is the sunset, simply breathtaking. With the warm breeze blowing, such solitution, such peace....and I am looking forward to such trip again in near future.

What's cooking?

Without realizing, it's now March of 2010. I didn't recall if I have written my new year resolution end of 2009. If I have, it's not 10% even in the materializing process, lolz. There is always a saying, when you get older, time passes faster. That seems like a myth few years back, but it's happening now!!!

So what's cooking this year? I sense more maturity in myself. I know it's a year where I would embark into something else, especially in division of finance. This is part of growth I really look forward to for the year. This year nevertheless, also bring a lot of weight to my physical body. Wonder if it's because my metabolism has gone slow? But I do believe shedding weight would be a very, very important resolution yet to be materialized for the year.

A year without much resolution, would be somewhat relaxing. Not hoping for too much, but a happy year. That's what is most important.