No more...

Going through some serious depression, trying to get through some serious frustration, thinking of a good vacation.....ahh, life! At points, I am still, very lost. I haven't progressed ever since my last few blogs. The depression came on and off, bringing me up and down. Ironically knowing what is right but doing something wrongful. This is what we called life?

I am facing problems dealing with my own emotions, composing my own direction and getting solution for my depression. Tonight I felt I totally lost control over myself....after such a long time. I haven't had such a feeling, the melancholy mood just swept over me. I broke down and cried, but crying, is not going to solve anything for me? I urge myself to be realistic and rational to deal with the current crossroads.

There were a lot of negative feelings coming at once tonight, inferiority, low self-esteem, pessimism...there was this eruption of anger, depression, frustration inside. There were mixture of so many feelings, I couldn't understand what emotion state I am going through currently. After the crying, it was monotone within. I just feel that I want to go far from here, to the beach, to the mountain, to the valley, to wherever and shout my lung out or a field where I could keep on running until I couldn't feel my feet, could I?

I want to run away from here....and keep on running....wonder where these running are bringing me? Should I be bothered? Nah....